So then I pulled her over for doing 2 MPH over the limit. Before I said anything she yelled, “I’d do anything to not get this ticket”. I got some young trim for only 2 MPH; Life is great.
+0
~Johnathan. 03.03.07 at 8:58 pm
You know, Super Troopers IS my favorite movie.
+1
~Stu 03.03.07 at 9:19 pm
I cant believe we get free food by pretending to be cops
Can you feel it? I adjusted the engine idle to give us our jollies while we drink coffee and eat doughnuts. I mean… what’s better’n coffee, doughnuts and jollies? Well… I could shoot the guy you’ve got handcuffed in the trunk That’d be sweet.
Wait til I tell her they weren’t glazed when I got them…
+0
~Anonymous 03.04.07 at 7:25 am
So this loser is in cuffs, he decides to bolt. He’s running, leaning forward trying to keep his balance, trips, face down into the gravel. I come up behind him, I see a flash of metal, so I draw, “boom” blow him away. I check for the weapon, the metal was my cuffs. Oops!, I take ‘em off, throw down a .45 I stole from the evidence locker and bingo I’m up for a bravery award. Lucky he was wanted for a couple of 187′s; I thought he was just a drunk.
+0
~Grumpy Panda 03.04.07 at 9:37 am
whats next, the sunglasses or toothpaste ad after this cheesey donut king deal?
+0
~markeebaby 03.04.07 at 12:37 pm
someone pinch me… i cant be happy and a cop
+0
~markeebaby 03.04.07 at 12:40 pm
“and they said gluing truncheons to the bonnet wouldnt catch on”
+0
~Anonymous 03.04.07 at 1:39 pm
So…sitting on that hood ornament doesn’t hurt at all huh ?
+0
~Robert 03.04.07 at 2:14 pm
HAHA! look at that fat kid
+0
~Olivia 03.04.07 at 3:05 pm
you know something, ever since i saw that Hot fuzz movie i cant get it out of my head
+1
~Olivia 03.04.07 at 3:07 pm
i cant believe bobby down at the station snogged his half brother haha
+0
~Igor 03.04.07 at 3:40 pm
oh sh*t, here comes the super-intendant, keep smiling and he wont know we used his credit card to buy ourselves new shoes….
+0
~Igor 03.04.07 at 3:44 pm
We should do something constructive…
Ooh, how about a game of thumb war?
They forgot your cream. I got some cream for ya, but its in my pants. Let me lick the glaze off my donut first.
+0
~Nate 03.04.07 at 5:05 pm
Is cop spelled with one “P” or two?
+0
~Kate :) 03.04.07 at 5:33 pm
“That light bar and these two fake uniforms were great investments! We’ve collected $2,500 in roadside settlements from speeders this morning, and we aren’t even cops!”
+0
~Wry Wordsmith 03.04.07 at 6:34 pm
“So this bleeding-heart asks me, ‘How could you shoot a teenager, even if he’s armed with an AK-47?’ And I said, ‘It’s easy. You just lead the little bastard by about 5 feet more than you would an adult.’”
+0
~Wry Wordsmith 03.04.07 at 6:37 pm
Sure glad we have these bullet proof vests. I could spill this coffee on myself right now and not feel a thing.
+0
~Joe 03.04.07 at 6:39 pm
Something I’ve never shared with you? For the last year, every morning, I fucked your donut with my dick when you weren’t looking.
+0
~GK 03.04.07 at 9:56 pm
I am going to have sex today,
but the question is: is it going to be with you or this donut ?
+0
~LowierAxel 03.04.07 at 9:59 pm
Can I stick my baton in your donut hole?
+0
~Adam 03.05.07 at 2:33 am
I CAN PROB STICK IT IN THERE WITHOUT TOUCHING THE EDGES.
+0
~PHILANTHROPY 03.05.07 at 2:38 am
I don’t get it. 6 foot a**hole?
+0
~Kuj 03.05.07 at 3:55 am
isnt it funny that cliches never fail to amuse stupid people?
All right STOP, collaborate, and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention…
+0
~Anonymous 03.05.07 at 11:30 pm
ÂGotta hand it to you, Margaret, youÂre a genius for cutting a hole in the floor of the trunk. Now all we do is handcuff a wise-ass perp, throw him in, connect a hose to the exhaust, and bingo! Thirty minutes later, heÂs DOA. Only problem is, carbon-monoxide deaths in our precinct have risen 800 percent in two weeks.Â
+0
~Wry Wordsmith 03.06.07 at 12:49 am
I’m not a playa I just cop alot.
+0
~Kate :) 03.06.07 at 1:13 am
jawadde
echt gaaf om te lezen
doe zo verder jongens
That was a great idea Mr. Jackson ! Using white makeup and dressing up as a guard here at this juvenile detention center while you do an up close and personal study before you donate money. They don’t make em like you anymore !
So then she looks at me and says
“paper or plastic”
+0
~scott 03.06.07 at 4:54 am
Herpies……hell no !!
+0
~scott 03.06.07 at 5:06 am
Tom Cruise wishes he was me !!
+0
~scott 03.06.07 at 5:09 am
And then your friend did it with that cow……good times….good times.
+0
~scott 03.06.07 at 5:10 am
They way you’re holding that donut so perfect … teasing me like … damn!
Reminds me of when we did “Deliverance – The Musical” together at last year’s policemen’s ball. Good times!
+0
~Treatable Bum 03.06.07 at 6:24 am
You know what, after this donut let’s do it on the bonnet in these bullet proof vest… yahoo!
+0
~King 03.06.07 at 10:00 am
yeah this is the life…free car, free clothes and paid to eat donuts!
+0
~deesse 03.06.07 at 1:45 pm
woah the police storeroom has a lot of crack!
my neck itches.
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 1:45 pm
“daddy! i’m winning!”
“i’m not your daddy.”
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 1:47 pm
so the guy said why dont you take off your sunglasses?
so i shot him
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 1:51 pm
its kinda funny now.
that guy super glued us to the hood and stole the license plate. haha
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 1:53 pm
im full, wanna scare some prostitutes with the sirens?
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 1:54 pm
so i said to the pharmacist what are ya a cop
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 1:55 pm
OMG! That’s TOTZ what it looked like when I Delta Burked you!
+0
~Matt 03.06.07 at 5:04 pm
so hes like why are you wearing a flak jacket. so i threw a grenade at him
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 5:06 pm
so I says “GET UP MR.KING AND STOP RESISTING…”
+0
~Shuggie 03.06.07 at 6:18 pm
Haw Haw Haw Carol.. that there donut looks jus like yoos vagina…
+0
~Shuggie 03.06.07 at 6:22 pm
The thing is, everyone else likes donuts too.
+0
~Nick 03.06.07 at 6:45 pm
You know what’s ironic? I hate irony.
+0
~Nick 03.06.07 at 6:58 pm
look at those mexicans go.
the dogs will take care of them
+0
~brooke 03.06.07 at 7:08 pm
whats better than being a middle class white male, between the age of 18 and 30, and a cop?
+0
~jess 03.06.07 at 9:07 pm
Yup, I love to tongue the hole – right after a good hot mouthful.
+0
~Paul 03.06.07 at 9:40 pm
You’re not? It’s ok. Tell you the truth, I’m not really a man.
+0
~Paul 03.06.07 at 9:45 pm
Jeez, you were right – your undercrackers are tight aren’t they!
So, A catholic priest and a rabbi are sitting in a playground…
+0
~scott'D' 03.07.07 at 12:33 am
And them i said, There’s NO F***ing way I’m sticking my head in that fence!
+0
~scott'D' 03.07.07 at 12:35 am
Is it three times, or four times before it’s called unneccesary force?
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:20 am
Can you PLEASE remember to ask for a red car next time. They actually go faster you know…
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:22 am
No, no, no, no, no. My hole is bigger!!!
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:23 am
Hey Jiiiiiimmm…
What’s it called when someone… umm… no, wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue… THAT’S IT! Takes something that’s not there’s?
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:25 am
I was at the Greyhound meet last night and after 2 hours and $1500 wasted, I thought; “Where’s the number for that little white bunny?”
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:27 am
Frank, I need a word with you.
It’s hard to express my feelings like this, but… I’m not gay.
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:28 am
If I was given $1 for every time a person asked for my badge number, I’d be a millionaire by now. The funniest thing is that it’s only my 2nd week
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:32 am
Ohhh… Smell that? Yeah… That’s your heated seat right there.
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:33 am
Hey Buddy. Is this an ad for Krispy Kreme or Colgate?
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:35 am
We’ve got another 10 of these donuts in the back don’t we? Let’s tease the fat kids.
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:37 am
If God created us to be equal, I wonder who created us then. This guy must be 10 times as good as God!
+0
~Spitfire 03.07.07 at 1:39 am
Did you check out thecleverest.com today? That picture of the little girl and the lady? Haha, I made a crude comment about the little girl being a prostitute. God I’m awesome.
Lady cop say ‘hey bud,while we have been sitting here laughing are asses off.eating donut and drinking coffee.LOL Someone
stole are to protect and to serve sticker off the door LOL Guy cop’ no shit LOL
+0
~RCTAZ 03.07.07 at 3:20 am
Badges???? we don’t need no stinking badges!!
We got donuts baby! and speaking of holes and glaze?
+0
~scott'D' 03.07.07 at 4:40 am
Really?….It’s called Tea bagging huh? I didn’t know THAT!
+0
~scott'D' 03.07.07 at 4:41 am
So, who is this dirty sanchez guy anyway?
And why did you say my donut reminded you of him????
+0
~scott'D' 03.07.07 at 4:52 am
God… These comments are … so… known…
and so like “not funny”
+0
~Human Resources 03.07.07 at 7:35 am
omg were u with me wen i pulld over that arab guy the other day omg that was funny i pulled him over and told him he is d.w.ting and then he was like hu and i said driving wile terrorising u get it john ur corny ok lol well im ganna telll u l;ol i did that tooo
Coffee….donuts…80′s sunglasses….Ahhh – we’ve been typecast!!
+0
~Graham 03.07.07 at 9:43 am
“and so then Rodney King says to me…F$@# you pig !
+0
~Graham 03.07.07 at 9:46 am
dang that was a good bag of weed, i love working in narcotics…..
+0
~maoriwarrior 03.07.07 at 10:33 am
keep smiling and dont look them in the eye…….
or they will know how scared we are
+0
~maoriwarrior 03.07.07 at 10:34 am
yeah i knew all along you werent a real girl….. cos that sure weren’t no can of mace in ur pocket
+0
~maoriwarrior 03.07.07 at 10:36 am
im too stoned to care……
+0
~maoriwarrior 03.07.07 at 10:38 am
There’s no better way to start the day than pistol-whipping homeless people.
+0
~Jimmy McCrapplepants 03.07.07 at 12:44 pm
OK so you’re right…I like any kinda chocolate covered ring!
+0
~cyberdadu 03.07.07 at 1:34 pm
So we ran outta gas. It aint all bad…if we leave the handbrake down we can push the car back to the station in reverse leaving our hands free for the important stuff!
+0
~cyberdadu 03.07.07 at 1:49 pm
Ryt fyn then……u can b the bandit and ill b smokey
+0
~The Hitcher;) 03.07.07 at 9:41 pm
or if u want ill b starsky n u can b hutch:D
+0
~The Hitcher;) 03.07.07 at 9:42 pm
I am shooting blanks
+0
~Petos 03.08.07 at 1:29 am
i am thinking , Dirty Sanchez
+0
~Petos 03.08.07 at 1:35 am
You know, I think that what I enjoy the most out of this line of work isn’t stopping bad guys and the endless amounts of donuts like the ones we are currently masticating…No, it has to be giving police cars, like Betty here, that were tragically born into the albino community the chance to serve as well as their “not-so-fair-skinned” friends and family.
Thats the real drive behind this job.
Yep.
+0
~Jared Despotic 03.08.07 at 2:30 am
Remember when you asked what I was doing in the backseat with the donuts?
Yah, well, *ahem*.
That and you only wish that that’s bavarian creme.
+0
~Jared Despotic 03.08.07 at 2:33 am
OMG!!I pOwNZ
+0
~Jacob 03.08.07 at 4:57 am
We still get payed, right?
+0
~Jacob 03.08.07 at 4:57 am
I need to fart..
+0
~Maulikk 03.08.07 at 5:41 am
so anyway jenni, hows that yeast infection comin’ along?
+0
~markeebaby 03.08.07 at 8:09 am
i cant believe you shot that guy in the balls, look at him writhe!
+0
~MMV 03.08.07 at 2:59 pm
Male-”After my wife found out I was banging you, she said you have the smallest penis I’ve ever seen…” Female- “Well I’d have to agree with her.”
+0
~dron 03.08.07 at 7:16 pm
I told you the donuts would taste better after you gave me a blow job.
+0
~RGDW 03.08.07 at 7:59 pm
“This undercover work is such a breeze…”
+0
~Will Stanley 03.09.07 at 2:52 pm
“This undercover work is such a breeze…”
+0
~Will Stanley 03.09.07 at 2:52 pm
If I was a doctor, I’d be wishing I was a cop with a doughnut right now.
+0
~Jeff 03.09.07 at 3:48 pm
I didn’t care that he was seventy five. I had to tazer his ass
+0
~chifan1977 03.09.07 at 4:21 pm
Man, being the oppressive fist of the empire is great! Our job has been sooo much easier since the government declared martial law. Hey baby, I can wait to get you home some we can start making a bunch of little cop babies! FOR THE EMPIRE!
Damm, that joint sure gave me the munchies. Good thing we got these donuts!
+0
~obhighflyer 03.10.07 at 9:02 am
You know…That donut your holding reminds me of my ex wife, don’t ask me why but…
+0
~scott'D' 03.11.07 at 4:52 am
Those guys on reno 911 have got the life!!!!!
+0
~scott'D' 03.11.07 at 4:54 am
‘hey jenny why are those 5 israelis dancing on the roof of that building’
‘i dont know jon but that second plane looks like its flying pretty close’
+0
~markeebaby 03.11.07 at 8:45 am
Those dopers sure did have some good stuff on them!!!
+0
~Cory 03.11.07 at 10:00 am
i still dont see how this is better than sitting on a washing machine?
+0
~self 03.12.07 at 12:31 am
oh go on…say it again, say it again….
OK but this is the last time….
“Hi my name is Officer Duncan Donut”
+0
~sparky 03.12.07 at 3:50 am
haha…i told a joke…did you hear that
+0
~Genghis Khan 03.12.07 at 11:20 am
I’d rather have a bite of her “muffin”
+0
~Mark 03.12.07 at 2:46 pm
Hello, Clarice…
+0
~Pornophiliac 03.12.07 at 2:54 pm
“Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?”
+0
~RENO911 03.12.07 at 10:04 pm
apple sauce Bitch!!!!!!
+0
~scott'D' 03.12.07 at 11:42 pm
look at that poor old man getting mugged…bet he expect us to do something bout it…hahaha…i hope he can hold his own for 10 more minutes…we need to finish our coffee break first!
+0
~blitz 03.13.07 at 12:20 am
Hahaha good one… no, wait.. Rita, oh my god did you just follow through…?!
+0
~BenC 03.13.07 at 4:44 am
The Mexicans Are coming, drop the chalupa
+0
~Frank Harris 03.13.07 at 2:10 pm
My Wife thinks your name is Phil!
+0
~Frank Harris 03.13.07 at 3:52 pm
Unions Rule
+0
~Frank Harris 03.13.07 at 3:55 pm
They said, find that sector car, I said “I’m On it”..
+0
~Frank Harris 03.13.07 at 3:56 pm
HIM: This is a great first day as an officer, so tell me what you look for when breaking in a new partner?
HER: How many doughnut’s he can hang!
+0
~Scam 03.13.07 at 4:44 pm
“I bought a new Glock last weekend.”
“Oh, really? Does it keep good time?”
+0
~A. Nonymous 03.13.07 at 6:11 pm
Practice on this Mike before you come over tonight…
+0
~John 03.13.07 at 6:27 pm
Im so high!
+0
~Lizzle 03.14.07 at 12:24 am
“I’d rather be eating your hairy donut”
+0
~bignordic 03.14.07 at 1:24 am
After we’ve finished these…let’s see how good that crack really is!
+0
~jonno 03.14.07 at 3:02 am
This feels great….hey.. can we take it turns to rev the engine?
+0
~jonno 03.14.07 at 3:22 am
So partner you think that’s cream filling? Tee hee hee!
When the deaf guy finish taking a photo of us, I’m gonna arrested him!
+0
~defman 03.15.07 at 10:01 am
-Another factor supporting my recommendation of CZK-funding is technical analysis. One specified Japanese trading model called Ichimoku Kinko Hyo has been giving a buy signal in EUR/CZK on a weekly basis. Actually the first time I see a clear signal since the model indicated a sale back in the first quarter 2004…you with me?
+0
~joakim 03.15.07 at 2:39 pm
…but I had on my cruller-proof vest, so everything turned out all right. Now let’s bag these and get them down to ballistics.
+0
~Jeff 03.16.07 at 8:10 pm
No, really, I did think you had the keys.
+0
~Dan 03.16.07 at 10:51 pm
that guy was gay
+0
~Anonymous 03.17.07 at 10:12 am
(hmmm,that donut is really turning me on…sexy.)Are you going to eat that donut right now? Can I use it for a few minutes? I’ll give it back…Really I will.
+0
~scott'D' 03.19.07 at 1:48 am
Si luego te quedas con hambre, ya sabes que tengo un pepito con nata por dentro para ti, jejeje….
+0
~Pablo 03.19.07 at 12:59 pm
So… what do you really do for a living?
+0
~Anonymous 03.20.07 at 9:26 pm
HaHa… we’re really cops now!
+0
~Anonymous 03.20.07 at 9:27 pm
I am so stoned………
+0
~Chris 03.21.07 at 4:24 am
I just farted, and it smells. he he
+0
~Lee Motgan 03.21.07 at 9:49 am
Aw dude, that is soooooo fucked up!
They thought we were really cops!!!
Yea,let’s go get sushi and not pay!
+0
~scott'D' 03.21.07 at 11:53 pm
So the guy tries to out draw me…but I manage to shoot him in the spine…ya ya I know pretty funny (huh huh) the next place that guy tries to rob better have a ramp!
+0
~Greg 03.22.07 at 12:12 am
This free medication really pays off
+0
~Francis Raud 03.22.07 at 11:59 pm
wont we get fired for not giving out enogh tickets.
+0
~Anonymous 03.26.07 at 3:32 am
” so than he says, I don’t wanna be a pirate”
+0
~Derek 03.27.07 at 5:38 am
“…and I was like, ‘man bangin’ children is hilarious’ and he was like, ‘you have that right AND they taste good in creme of baby soup’.”
ah ha ha ha ha ahhah hahahha ahhaha
+0
~Peter-man 03.27.07 at 10:58 pm
HAHAHA! and then i said f%*k you B&ch and i shot the bastard! hahaha you should of seen the way that i killed the mother f$%&er!
+0
~Rio 03.29.07 at 6:59 pm
Guarding this guys at Gitmo, just makes me laugh whenever I think about it.
Rent a cops doing the job of the US Military.
Well at least we dont take pictures when we humiliate them, Ha Ha Ha. Munch, Munch, Munch
+0
~Bobby L 03.31.07 at 4:38 pm
Wheres the steering wheel?
+0
~Eddie 04.05.07 at 1:53 pm
I’m sitting on the hood ornament, beat that. You may havee wondered what happened to your night-stick.
I create digital delights for Glamour and Details magazines at Condé Nast in New York City. More »
Recent Wines
arnt we supposed to look like we arnt cops?
03.03.07 at 8:42 pm
So then I pulled her over for doing 2 MPH over the limit. Before I said anything she yelled, “I’d do anything to not get this ticket”. I got some young trim for only 2 MPH; Life is great.
03.03.07 at 8:58 pm
You know, Super Troopers IS my favorite movie.
03.03.07 at 9:19 pm
I cant believe we get free food by pretending to be cops
03.03.07 at 10:31 pm
So, what was jail like?
03.03.07 at 11:06 pm
Wanna shoot him with your donut?
03.03.07 at 11:07 pm
I’ll watch your back if you shave mine…
03.03.07 at 11:08 pm
Being undercover sucks!
03.03.07 at 11:09 pm
If only I studied longer!
03.03.07 at 11:16 pm
Is that a hood ornament in your butt, or are you just high on cough-syrup?
03.04.07 at 1:00 am
From up here, I can see your first marriage…
03.04.07 at 1:00 am
It’s a good feeling, when all the zombies are dead and… wait… they were dead before, weren’t they?
03.04.07 at 1:02 am
Which side of that there barbed-wire are we supposed to be guarding?
03.04.07 at 1:02 am
Can you feel it? I adjusted the engine idle to give us our jollies while we drink coffee and eat doughnuts. I mean… what’s better’n coffee, doughnuts and jollies? Well… I could shoot the guy you’ve got handcuffed in the trunk That’d be sweet.
03.04.07 at 1:04 am
Damn… I really, really like North Dakota so much better than South Dakota. I mean, c’mon. South Dakota just sucked. This assignment rocks.
03.04.07 at 1:05 am
My favorite episode of “The Real World?” Wow. That’s gonna take a while to unknot…
03.04.07 at 1:06 am
Yeah, it’s a funny coincidence. Two biologically hermaphroditic partners getting matched up randomly. What are the odds? AND we both like Splenda!
03.04.07 at 1:08 am
Hey look, there is a guy robbing that bank, and look, a gang beating up an old lady.
03.04.07 at 1:36 am
Oh my god! Someone is robbing that bank… but this donut is pretty good.
Holy shit someone is robbing the donut shop, lets roll…
03.04.07 at 1:38 am
….so I turned her over and said DEFINE ‘unnecessary force’ – because if it’s a crime – I’ll be doing 10-20….
03.04.07 at 2:55 am
Haha! My God! That didn’t look like a donut a second ago. These Compton guys have it in for us.
03.04.07 at 4:18 am
Haha! That wasn’t a donut a second ago.
03.04.07 at 4:20 am
Haha! That was just a bun a second ago, O’Reilly!
03.04.07 at 4:24 am
Come on!
03.04.07 at 6:11 am
Wait til I tell her they weren’t glazed when I got them…
03.04.07 at 7:25 am
So this loser is in cuffs, he decides to bolt. He’s running, leaning forward trying to keep his balance, trips, face down into the gravel. I come up behind him, I see a flash of metal, so I draw, “boom” blow him away. I check for the weapon, the metal was my cuffs. Oops!, I take ‘em off, throw down a .45 I stole from the evidence locker and bingo I’m up for a bravery award. Lucky he was wanted for a couple of 187′s; I thought he was just a drunk.
03.04.07 at 9:37 am
whats next, the sunglasses or toothpaste ad after this cheesey donut king deal?
03.04.07 at 12:37 pm
someone pinch me… i cant be happy and a cop
03.04.07 at 12:40 pm
“and they said gluing truncheons to the bonnet wouldnt catch on”
03.04.07 at 1:39 pm
So…sitting on that hood ornament doesn’t hurt at all huh ?
03.04.07 at 2:14 pm
HAHA! look at that fat kid
03.04.07 at 3:05 pm
you know something, ever since i saw that Hot fuzz movie i cant get it out of my head
03.04.07 at 3:07 pm
i cant believe bobby down at the station snogged his half brother haha
03.04.07 at 3:40 pm
oh sh*t, here comes the super-intendant, keep smiling and he wont know we used his credit card to buy ourselves new shoes….
03.04.07 at 3:44 pm
We should do something constructive…
Ooh, how about a game of thumb war?
03.04.07 at 3:45 pm
Were do they get off calling us rent a cops.
03.04.07 at 4:10 pm
They forgot your cream. I got some cream for ya, but its in my pants. Let me lick the glaze off my donut first.
03.04.07 at 5:05 pm
Is cop spelled with one “P” or two?
03.04.07 at 5:33 pm
“That light bar and these two fake uniforms were great investments! We’ve collected $2,500 in roadside settlements from speeders this morning, and we aren’t even cops!”
03.04.07 at 6:34 pm
“So this bleeding-heart asks me, ‘How could you shoot a teenager, even if he’s armed with an AK-47?’ And I said, ‘It’s easy. You just lead the little bastard by about 5 feet more than you would an adult.’”
03.04.07 at 6:37 pm
Sure glad we have these bullet proof vests. I could spill this coffee on myself right now and not feel a thing.
03.04.07 at 6:39 pm
Something I’ve never shared with you? For the last year, every morning, I fucked your donut with my dick when you weren’t looking.
03.04.07 at 9:56 pm
I am going to have sex today,
but the question is: is it going to be with you or this donut ?
03.04.07 at 9:59 pm
Can I stick my baton in your donut hole?
03.05.07 at 2:33 am
I CAN PROB STICK IT IN THERE WITHOUT TOUCHING THE EDGES.
03.05.07 at 2:38 am
I don’t get it. 6 foot a**hole?
03.05.07 at 3:55 am
isnt it funny that cliches never fail to amuse stupid people?
03.05.07 at 4:02 am
D’oh…NUTS
03.05.07 at 5:39 am
So? Do I need to shave of my head just Britney Spears did?
03.05.07 at 7:58 am
So i said “Rodney King who?” Then i hit him a few more times with my baton!.
03.05.07 at 8:30 am
“No, yours doesnt look like that at all, yours has hair all around it!
03.05.07 at 9:02 am
“..and so then I said…..go ahead, PUT the picture on millions of T-Shirts – see if I care !”
03.05.07 at 9:04 am
OK, now YOU be Ponch and I’LL be Jon…
03.05.07 at 1:12 pm
I wanna eat your doughnut!
03.05.07 at 2:31 pm
And Bob is such a dumb cop, he didn’t even know they had stolen his liscence plate! Can you believe it?
03.05.07 at 5:06 pm
Ahhh…Sitting on the hood after a high speed chase with a doughnut and coffee! Ain’t nothing better!
03.05.07 at 5:16 pm
…so I made her your pepper spray wings, snd she loved them!
03.05.07 at 5:19 pm
Tonight is Abu Grahib night at the county lock-up! Wanna come?
03.05.07 at 5:20 pm
Okay! I admit it! A 219 is an armed robbery in progress, not a chocolate doughnut and coffee. But isn’t this more fun!
03.05.07 at 5:30 pm
No, tonight it’s MY turn to be the perp.
03.05.07 at 5:33 pm
Did you think that Jack is still alive?
03.05.07 at 5:34 pm
No, I said I like donut holes, not I like donuts, ho.
03.05.07 at 7:36 pm
“Eating donuts is our Holey duty, right?”
03.05.07 at 7:42 pm
Told you it feels better with the engine running!!!!!
03.05.07 at 7:46 pm
I love the perks of this job!
03.05.07 at 7:57 pm
All right STOP, collaborate, and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention…
03.05.07 at 11:30 pm
ÂGotta hand it to you, Margaret, youÂre a genius for cutting a hole in the floor of the trunk. Now all we do is handcuff a wise-ass perp, throw him in, connect a hose to the exhaust, and bingo! Thirty minutes later, heÂs DOA. Only problem is, carbon-monoxide deaths in our precinct have risen 800 percent in two weeks.Â
03.06.07 at 12:49 am
I’m not a playa I just cop alot.
03.06.07 at 1:13 am
jawadde
echt gaaf om te lezen
doe zo verder jongens
03.06.07 at 1:29 am
That was a great idea Mr. Jackson ! Using white makeup and dressing up as a guard here at this juvenile detention center while you do an up close and personal study before you donate money. They don’t make em like you anymore !
03.06.07 at 1:41 am
These donuts are Amadou Delicious!
03.06.07 at 4:47 am
So then she looks at me and says
“paper or plastic”
03.06.07 at 4:54 am
Herpies……hell no !!
03.06.07 at 5:06 am
Tom Cruise wishes he was me !!
03.06.07 at 5:09 am
And then your friend did it with that cow……good times….good times.
03.06.07 at 5:10 am
They way you’re holding that donut so perfect … teasing me like … damn!
Reminds me of when we did “Deliverance – The Musical” together at last year’s policemen’s ball. Good times!
03.06.07 at 6:24 am
You know what, after this donut let’s do it on the bonnet in these bullet proof vest… yahoo!
03.06.07 at 10:00 am
yeah this is the life…free car, free clothes and paid to eat donuts!
03.06.07 at 1:45 pm
woah the police storeroom has a lot of crack!
my neck itches.
03.06.07 at 1:45 pm
“daddy! i’m winning!”
“i’m not your daddy.”
03.06.07 at 1:47 pm
so the guy said why dont you take off your sunglasses?
so i shot him
03.06.07 at 1:51 pm
its kinda funny now.
that guy super glued us to the hood and stole the license plate. haha
03.06.07 at 1:53 pm
im full, wanna scare some prostitutes with the sirens?
03.06.07 at 1:54 pm
so i said to the pharmacist what are ya a cop
03.06.07 at 1:55 pm
OMG! That’s TOTZ what it looked like when I Delta Burked you!
03.06.07 at 5:04 pm
so hes like why are you wearing a flak jacket. so i threw a grenade at him
03.06.07 at 5:06 pm
so I says “GET UP MR.KING AND STOP RESISTING…”
03.06.07 at 6:18 pm
Haw Haw Haw Carol.. that there donut looks jus like yoos vagina…
03.06.07 at 6:22 pm
The thing is, everyone else likes donuts too.
03.06.07 at 6:45 pm
You know what’s ironic? I hate irony.
03.06.07 at 6:58 pm
look at those mexicans go.
the dogs will take care of them
03.06.07 at 7:08 pm
whats better than being a middle class white male, between the age of 18 and 30, and a cop?
03.06.07 at 9:07 pm
Yup, I love to tongue the hole – right after a good hot mouthful.
03.06.07 at 9:40 pm
You’re not? It’s ok. Tell you the truth, I’m not really a man.
03.06.07 at 9:45 pm
Jeez, you were right – your undercrackers are tight aren’t they!
03.06.07 at 9:49 pm
I saw the sun once… I licked his back!
03.06.07 at 10:13 pm
So, A catholic priest and a rabbi are sitting in a playground…
03.07.07 at 12:33 am
And them i said, There’s NO F***ing way I’m sticking my head in that fence!
03.07.07 at 12:35 am
Is it three times, or four times before it’s called unneccesary force?
03.07.07 at 1:20 am
Can you PLEASE remember to ask for a red car next time. They actually go faster you know…
03.07.07 at 1:22 am
No, no, no, no, no. My hole is bigger!!!
03.07.07 at 1:23 am
Hey Jiiiiiimmm…
What’s it called when someone… umm… no, wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue… THAT’S IT! Takes something that’s not there’s?
03.07.07 at 1:25 am
I was at the Greyhound meet last night and after 2 hours and $1500 wasted, I thought; “Where’s the number for that little white bunny?”
03.07.07 at 1:27 am
Frank, I need a word with you.
It’s hard to express my feelings like this, but… I’m not gay.
03.07.07 at 1:28 am
If I was given $1 for every time a person asked for my badge number, I’d be a millionaire by now. The funniest thing is that it’s only my 2nd week
03.07.07 at 1:32 am
Ohhh… Smell that? Yeah… That’s your heated seat right there.
03.07.07 at 1:33 am
Hey Buddy. Is this an ad for Krispy Kreme or Colgate?
03.07.07 at 1:35 am
We’ve got another 10 of these donuts in the back don’t we? Let’s tease the fat kids.
03.07.07 at 1:37 am
If God created us to be equal, I wonder who created us then. This guy must be 10 times as good as God!
03.07.07 at 1:39 am
Did you check out thecleverest.com today? That picture of the little girl and the lady? Haha, I made a crude comment about the little girl being a prostitute. God I’m awesome.
03.07.07 at 2:00 am
…. walk like an Egyptian… woo woo…
03.07.07 at 2:28 am
she said “Hey rookie, why dont you practice safe sex and go F _ _ K yourself….
03.07.07 at 2:52 am
Lady cop say ‘hey bud,while we have been sitting here laughing are asses off.eating donut and drinking coffee.LOL Someone
stole are to protect and to serve sticker off the door LOL Guy cop’ no shit LOL
03.07.07 at 3:20 am
Badges???? we don’t need no stinking badges!!
We got donuts baby! and speaking of holes and glaze?
03.07.07 at 4:40 am
Really?….It’s called Tea bagging huh? I didn’t know THAT!
03.07.07 at 4:41 am
So, who is this dirty sanchez guy anyway?
And why did you say my donut reminded you of him????
03.07.07 at 4:52 am
God… These comments are … so… known…
and so like “not funny”
03.07.07 at 7:35 am
omg were u with me wen i pulld over that arab guy the other day omg that was funny i pulled him over and told him he is d.w.ting and then he was like hu and i said driving wile terrorising u get it john ur corny ok lol well im ganna telll u l;ol i did that tooo
03.07.07 at 7:58 am
Coffee….donuts…80′s sunglasses….Ahhh – we’ve been typecast!!
03.07.07 at 9:43 am
“and so then Rodney King says to me…F$@# you pig !
03.07.07 at 9:46 am
dang that was a good bag of weed, i love working in narcotics…..
03.07.07 at 10:33 am
keep smiling and dont look them in the eye…….
or they will know how scared we are
03.07.07 at 10:34 am
yeah i knew all along you werent a real girl….. cos that sure weren’t no can of mace in ur pocket
03.07.07 at 10:36 am
im too stoned to care……
03.07.07 at 10:38 am
There’s no better way to start the day than pistol-whipping homeless people.
03.07.07 at 12:44 pm
OK so you’re right…I like any kinda chocolate covered ring!
03.07.07 at 1:34 pm
So we ran outta gas. It aint all bad…if we leave the handbrake down we can push the car back to the station in reverse leaving our hands free for the important stuff!
03.07.07 at 1:49 pm
Ryt fyn then……u can b the bandit and ill b smokey
03.07.07 at 9:41 pm
or if u want ill b starsky n u can b hutch:D
03.07.07 at 9:42 pm
I am shooting blanks
03.08.07 at 1:29 am
i am thinking , Dirty Sanchez
03.08.07 at 1:35 am
You know, I think that what I enjoy the most out of this line of work isn’t stopping bad guys and the endless amounts of donuts like the ones we are currently masticating…No, it has to be giving police cars, like Betty here, that were tragically born into the albino community the chance to serve as well as their “not-so-fair-skinned” friends and family.
Thats the real drive behind this job.
Yep.
03.08.07 at 2:30 am
Remember when you asked what I was doing in the backseat with the donuts?
Yah, well, *ahem*.
That and you only wish that that’s bavarian creme.
03.08.07 at 2:33 am
OMG!!I pOwNZ
03.08.07 at 4:57 am
We still get payed, right?
03.08.07 at 4:57 am
I need to fart..
03.08.07 at 5:41 am
so anyway jenni, hows that yeast infection comin’ along?
03.08.07 at 8:09 am
i cant believe you shot that guy in the balls, look at him writhe!
03.08.07 at 2:59 pm
Male-”After my wife found out I was banging you, she said you have the smallest penis I’ve ever seen…” Female- “Well I’d have to agree with her.”
03.08.07 at 7:16 pm
I told you the donuts would taste better after you gave me a blow job.
03.08.07 at 7:59 pm
“This undercover work is such a breeze…”
03.09.07 at 2:52 pm
“This undercover work is such a breeze…”
03.09.07 at 2:52 pm
If I was a doctor, I’d be wishing I was a cop with a doughnut right now.
03.09.07 at 3:48 pm
I didn’t care that he was seventy five. I had to tazer his ass
03.09.07 at 4:21 pm
Man, being the oppressive fist of the empire is great! Our job has been sooo much easier since the government declared martial law. Hey baby, I can wait to get you home some we can start making a bunch of little cop babies! FOR THE EMPIRE!
03.09.07 at 5:41 pm
Do you want to dunk it in mine!
03.09.07 at 10:18 pm
Wanna see what i could do with my donut?
03.10.07 at 3:36 am
Damm, that joint sure gave me the munchies. Good thing we got these donuts!
03.10.07 at 9:02 am
You know…That donut your holding reminds me of my ex wife, don’t ask me why but…
03.11.07 at 4:52 am
Those guys on reno 911 have got the life!!!!!
03.11.07 at 4:54 am
‘hey jenny why are those 5 israelis dancing on the roof of that building’
‘i dont know jon but that second plane looks like its flying pretty close’
03.11.07 at 8:45 am
Those dopers sure did have some good stuff on them!!!
03.11.07 at 10:00 am
i still dont see how this is better than sitting on a washing machine?
03.12.07 at 12:31 am
oh go on…say it again, say it again….
OK but this is the last time….
“Hi my name is Officer Duncan Donut”
03.12.07 at 3:50 am
haha…i told a joke…did you hear that
03.12.07 at 11:20 am
I’d rather have a bite of her “muffin”
03.12.07 at 2:46 pm
Hello, Clarice…
03.12.07 at 2:54 pm
“Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?”
03.12.07 at 10:04 pm
apple sauce Bitch!!!!!!
03.12.07 at 11:42 pm
look at that poor old man getting mugged…bet he expect us to do something bout it…hahaha…i hope he can hold his own for 10 more minutes…we need to finish our coffee break first!
03.13.07 at 12:20 am
Hahaha good one… no, wait.. Rita, oh my god did you just follow through…?!
03.13.07 at 4:44 am
The Mexicans Are coming, drop the chalupa
03.13.07 at 2:10 pm
My Wife thinks your name is Phil!
03.13.07 at 3:52 pm
Unions Rule
03.13.07 at 3:55 pm
They said, find that sector car, I said “I’m On it”..
03.13.07 at 3:56 pm
HIM: This is a great first day as an officer, so tell me what you look for when breaking in a new partner?
HER: How many doughnut’s he can hang!
03.13.07 at 4:44 pm
“I bought a new Glock last weekend.”
“Oh, really? Does it keep good time?”
03.13.07 at 6:11 pm
Practice on this Mike before you come over tonight…
03.13.07 at 6:27 pm
Im so high!
03.14.07 at 12:24 am
“I’d rather be eating your hairy donut”
03.14.07 at 1:24 am
After we’ve finished these…let’s see how good that crack really is!
03.14.07 at 3:02 am
This feels great….hey.. can we take it turns to rev the engine?
03.14.07 at 3:22 am
So partner you think that’s cream filling? Tee hee hee!
03.14.07 at 6:48 am
Goosh I wish we were Firefighters!
03.14.07 at 5:41 pm
if u dont have sex with me u die
03.14.07 at 11:23 pm
When the deaf guy finish taking a photo of us, I’m gonna arrested him!
03.15.07 at 10:01 am
-Another factor supporting my recommendation of CZK-funding is technical analysis. One specified Japanese trading model called Ichimoku Kinko Hyo has been giving a buy signal in EUR/CZK on a weekly basis. Actually the first time I see a clear signal since the model indicated a sale back in the first quarter 2004…you with me?
03.15.07 at 2:39 pm
…but I had on my cruller-proof vest, so everything turned out all right. Now let’s bag these and get them down to ballistics.
03.16.07 at 8:10 pm
No, really, I did think you had the keys.
03.16.07 at 10:51 pm
that guy was gay
03.17.07 at 10:12 am
(hmmm,that donut is really turning me on…sexy.)Are you going to eat that donut right now? Can I use it for a few minutes? I’ll give it back…Really I will.
03.19.07 at 1:48 am
Si luego te quedas con hambre, ya sabes que tengo un pepito con nata por dentro para ti, jejeje….
03.19.07 at 12:59 pm
So… what do you really do for a living?
03.20.07 at 9:26 pm
HaHa… we’re really cops now!
03.20.07 at 9:27 pm
I am so stoned………
03.21.07 at 4:24 am
I just farted, and it smells. he he
03.21.07 at 9:49 am
Aw dude, that is soooooo fucked up!
They thought we were really cops!!!
Yea,let’s go get sushi and not pay!
03.21.07 at 11:53 pm
So the guy tries to out draw me…but I manage to shoot him in the spine…ya ya I know pretty funny (huh huh) the next place that guy tries to rob better have a ramp!
03.22.07 at 12:12 am
This free medication really pays off
03.22.07 at 11:59 pm
wont we get fired for not giving out enogh tickets.
03.26.07 at 3:32 am
” so than he says, I don’t wanna be a pirate”
03.27.07 at 5:38 am
“…and I was like, ‘man bangin’ children is hilarious’ and he was like, ‘you have that right AND they taste good in creme of baby soup’.”
ah ha ha ha ha ahhah hahahha ahhaha
03.27.07 at 10:58 pm
HAHAHA! and then i said f%*k you B&ch and i shot the bastard! hahaha you should of seen the way that i killed the mother f$%&er!
03.29.07 at 6:59 pm
Guarding this guys at Gitmo, just makes me laugh whenever I think about it.
Rent a cops doing the job of the US Military.
Well at least we dont take pictures when we humiliate them, Ha Ha Ha. Munch, Munch, Munch
03.31.07 at 4:38 pm
Wheres the steering wheel?
04.05.07 at 1:53 pm
I’m sitting on the hood ornament, beat that. You may havee wondered what happened to your night-stick.
04.07.07 at 7:56 am
… And then I said to him “Id like to see that Johnny Cockern is dead”
04.10.07 at 12:45 am
May I have your ring?
04.10.07 at 11:07 pm
RayBan RULES!!
04.10.07 at 11:08 pm
These clothes make me hungry
04.10.07 at 11:09 pm
They wouldn’t let me work at KFC, they said I could hurt somebody.
04.12.07 at 8:46 am
Did you see when I stepped on that nigger’s head? He didn’t even see us coming.
04.17.07 at 3:48 pm
2bad that you dont wear skirt, that way could be 1more a**hole on the picture
04.23.07 at 9:38 am
do ya think this guy has photo camera in his donut?
04.23.07 at 9:41 am
what can he do with our plates? rob a bank?
04.23.07 at 9:43 am
ive took a cofee beside 2 be shure they didnt spit on the donut
04.23.07 at 9:47 am
Fark! That weed waaaaaaaaas goooooooood!
04.26.07 at 4:49 am
Here u r, I got these bloody rings… will u marry me?
05.03.07 at 1:25 pm
U know what! We’d better go back to that nude beach where we got all this gear and shoot them.
05.03.07 at 1:46 pm
…shoot that nude cops!
05.03.07 at 1:49 pm
did you put the engine on ‘vibration’ mode?
05.08.07 at 4:06 pm
…and then the Rabbi sez…..But I ordered Kosher….
05.10.07 at 2:10 am
Next time, we’ll use my baton…
05.10.07 at 3:28 pm
When I answered the ad for secritary, I thought it was a desk job.
05.14.07 at 3:51 pm
So is that fence to keep them out or us in?
05.15.07 at 11:08 pm
Look at those crazy bastards drive!
05.19.07 at 7:27 pm