The Cleverest Webcam is officially online! You can see it at the bottom of every page. More to come shortly…

Well, it looks like I can scratch another item off my lifetime to-do list:

• Start a Russian Flame War

Dear Russians, I’m sorry for making up a fake quiz that was only supposed to make you feel stupid, and then pretending to offer a hint which was really just a picture of a giant pile of shit sitting on top of your country.

I’m just a little miffed because a lot the comments on my site are now in Russian, which I (and a large portion of my audience) can’t read. And to make matters worse, your colloquialisms and bad grammar make translating your comments into English damn near impossible.

So let’s please keep all the comments in English from now on, ok?

Many thanks,
Mike

Since the Russians aren’t making much progress on the riddle below, here’s a hint.

Alright Russians. If you’re so clever, solve this: (Click to view full)

Hi everyone – as you can see, I’ve just enabled the ability to rate people’s comments all throughout the site. Let the games begin!

PS – show no mercy.

Every once in a while I get curious as to who’s visiting The Cleverest. So I fired up the geographic section of Google Analytics and found some pretty interesting results…

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Recently at a work-related shoot at Shea Stadium, I noticed something that seemed a little out of place in the outfield…

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You may have noticed that I’m experimenting with a new design for the site. Can anyone guess my favorite color?

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Well folks, here’s the new site.

Graphically, it’s pretty straightforward – the bells and whistles will come later – but the site’s organization has been completely restructured from the ground up in (what I hope is) a logical and easy-to-browse format that will (theoretically) be much easier to navigate than this sentence.

Overall, I’ve made it easier to access older posts and to view posts by their categories. Also, there are finally permalinks so you can link to individual posts. I know – crazy, right?

I hope you enjoy, and share your grievances and/or compliments in this post’s permalink.

Thanks,
Mike

This is so wonderful.

What rhymes with “fart” but doesn’t have an “f” in it? Right. Art!!! Writer, filmmaker, artist, and former roommate Michael Sanzone will be showing some of his new works from Japan at the 55 Mercer Gallery in New York City starting this Thursday. The exhibit goes until March 24th, but you (yes, YOU!) are strongly advised to come this Thursday, March 1st, 6-8 PM for the opening reception. For more information and previews of the exhibit, visit www.michaelsanzone.com. Hope to see you there!

An unfortunate pairing of headlines on my Google News page this morning.

Tonight’s the night! This evening brings the official launch of Smyles & Fish, the highly anticipated literary magazine I’ve been working on along with a number of other roustabouts, hooligans, and practitioners of tomfoolery . It’s been a labor of love but with much less afterbirth. Hope to see you tonight, 7-8:30 PM at The Strand, or afterwards at VON.

Gawker may have gotten the scoop on Yesterday’s Kitchen Shitter story, but at least I got the original flyer. It was just outside the entrance to Spuyten Duyvil, right where they said it would be. Oh, and guess what? That’s right. Chicken butt.

I found this glorious flyer affixed brazenly to a streetlamp in my neighborhood last night. My gut tells me this is a joke, however there’s a part of me that wishes it’s genuine.There’s also the chance that I’m falling into some crafty viral marketer’s hands by blogging about this (especially because as of this writing, the phrase “This man shit in my kitchen” turns up zero Google results), but there’s a significant part of me that hopes there’s an honest-to-god serial kitchen shitter on the loose in Williamsburg. Oh man that would be sweet.Anyone willing to help me get to the bottom of this (pun severely intended) may do so in the comments section.Text from the flyer:This man shit in my kitchen.Ladies of Williamsburg, BEWARE!!!! This man shit on the floor of my kitchen on October 6th, 2006 and then peaced. He might strike again. Approach with caution.

Looks like I’ve been Digged again!

Brilliant!

**BREAKING NEWS**

JAKARTA, Indonesia — A major earthquake off the coast of Java and a tsunami that followed has killed at least 86 people, but the death toll is expected to rise as the search for victims moves ahead, witnesses and officials told The Associated Press.Puns and other tasteless quips are rushed to this website’s comments section.