Well folks, here’s the new site.

Graphically, it’s pretty straightforward – the bells and whistles will come later – but the site’s organization has been completely restructured from the ground up in (what I hope is) a logical and easy-to-browse format that will (theoretically) be much easier to navigate than this sentence.

Overall, I’ve made it easier to access older posts and to view posts by their categories. Also, there are finally permalinks so you can link to individual posts. I know – crazy, right?

I hope you enjoy, and share your grievances and/or compliments in this post’s permalink.

Thanks,
Mike

This is so wonderful.

What rhymes with “fart” but doesn’t have an “f” in it? Right. Art!!! Writer, filmmaker, artist, and former roommate Michael Sanzone will be showing some of his new works from Japan at the 55 Mercer Gallery in New York City starting this Thursday. The exhibit goes until March 24th, but you (yes, YOU!) are strongly advised to come this Thursday, March 1st, 6-8 PM for the opening reception. For more information and previews of the exhibit, visit www.michaelsanzone.com. Hope to see you there!

An unfortunate pairing of headlines on my Google News page this morning.

Tonight’s the night! This evening brings the official launch of Smyles & Fish, the highly anticipated literary magazine I’ve been working on along with a number of other roustabouts, hooligans, and practitioners of tomfoolery . It’s been a labor of love but with much less afterbirth. Hope to see you tonight, 7-8:30 PM at The Strand, or afterwards at VON.

Gawker may have gotten the scoop on Yesterday’s Kitchen Shitter story, but at least I got the original flyer. It was just outside the entrance to Spuyten Duyvil, right where they said it would be. Oh, and guess what? That’s right. Chicken butt.

I found this glorious flyer affixed brazenly to a streetlamp in my neighborhood last night. My gut tells me this is a joke, however there’s a part of me that wishes it’s genuine.There’s also the chance that I’m falling into some crafty viral marketer’s hands by blogging about this (especially because as of this writing, the phrase “This man shit in my kitchen” turns up zero Google results), but there’s a significant part of me that hopes there’s an honest-to-god serial kitchen shitter on the loose in Williamsburg. Oh man that would be sweet.Anyone willing to help me get to the bottom of this (pun severely intended) may do so in the comments section.Text from the flyer:This man shit in my kitchen.Ladies of Williamsburg, BEWARE!!!! This man shit on the floor of my kitchen on October 6th, 2006 and then peaced. He might strike again. Approach with caution.

Looks like I’ve been Digged again!

Brilliant!

**BREAKING NEWS**

JAKARTA, Indonesia — A major earthquake off the coast of Java and a tsunami that followed has killed at least 86 people, but the death toll is expected to rise as the search for victims moves ahead, witnesses and officials told The Associated Press.Puns and other tasteless quips are rushed to this website’s comments section.

A New York City cop left his receipt at an ATM in front of me today. I couldn’t help my curiosity. Guess his available balance in the comments section…

A) $64.09

B) $250.13

C) $1361.66

D) $3,096.03

E) $9,835.67

In case you’re bored with playing the guitar the traditional way (ie, how Dan Smith would teach you) check out this video of a fellow Greeley Grad Matt Nichols making the six string his bitch.

It’s not every day that one gets to see a Mercedes on fire. But for me, Friday was that day. Cameraphone photos are here.

Breaking News: Oil pipeline explosion on Snake Island, Nigeria

Hordes of punners and satirists convene in The Cleverest Dot Com’s comments section to weigh in on the tragedy.

My brother once pointed out that a well-placed hyperlink in a sentence is hilarious.

So here are some examples. (The links don’t go anywhere.)

The research, which was plagued with serious errors, was officially abandoned in February.

Previous attempts have proven largely unsuccessful.

The downsides of which are too numerous to mention.

While still 700 meters short of the previous world record, Timothy’s latest attempt was heralded as a great achievement.

Since then, however, the report has been discredited.

Any more? To the comments!

I wish there were an Academy Awards for short films on the Web, because the Ice Cream Dance would make a clean sweep.

Friday’s “An Evening with Smyles & Fish” was a hoot! We were able to raise tens of tens of dollars, all of which will go toward the printing of our next issue. Highlights from the event can be found here.

Stop what you’re doing right now and check out the new & improved Smyles & Fish website. Guaranteed to be the best website you’ve ever seen.*

This Friday you’re invited to what will go down in history as the most thrilling literary reading of all time. All the details are here so if you find yourself in or near Chelsea at 6:30 on Friday, you have no excuse not to show up. You can even bring that weird friend of yours - you know - the one who has that thing.