Posts filed under "Written"

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

I just had a great idea for a way to teach young children about the dangers of drinking, as well as a way to help actors find work. Hear me out.

Parents will hire an actor (any ‘ol actor will do) to play “Uncle Rick.” Uncle Rick will only need to sporadically meet the kid a few times during the “role”, which will consist of the kid’s family having Uncle Rick over for dinner a few times over the course of about 3 years. The more years the kid keeps Uncle Rick in the back of his mind, the better the payoff. See where I’m going with this?…

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Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007

Back by popular demand, here’s my vintage 2001 email correspondence with one of the first actual Nigerian email scammers. It’s a long read but well worth it, if I may say so. And it’s all true, to the word.
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Tuesday, May 24th, 2005

Did you know they use dead babies in advertising because they’re cheaper and easier to work with than alive babies?

It’s true.

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Monday, March 28th, 2005

Just in case anyone’s interested, the following domain names are available.

vadgezilla.com

testiballs.com

ourvagina.com

letshearitforhitler.com

allnudeapes.com

ohgrandma.com

getintomyvan.com

thatwasntcreamcheese.com

itsinmyhairitsinmyhair.com

Feel free to suggest more. Go to www.networksolutions.com to see what’s taken and what’s up for grabs.

Monday, January 10th, 2005

Over the weekend, Gabe and I (HI GABE!!!!!!!!) received one of the coolest presents ever. Our friend Amanda produced a lovely disaster mix for us - "The Silva/Solomon Tsunami Jamboree!" The mix CD is so astounding, not only have I included the playlist below, but I’m also adding some keywords so it gets ranked higher on Google. Tsunami Album. Tsunami Mix. Tsunami Jamboree. Tsunami relief effort. How do I help the tsunami victims? I want to donate money to the tsunami relief effort. Penis Enlargement. Viagra.

1 - Wipeout - RALPH REBEL

2 - Singapore - TOM WAITS

3 - Tokyo Storm Warning - ELVIS COSTELLO

4 - Catch a Wave - THE BEACH BOYS

5 - Secrets of the Sea - BILLY BRAGG & WILCO

6 - Body Count - ICE-T

7 - Christmas Island - THE ANDREW SISTERS

8 - My City Was Gone - THE PRETENDERS

9 - Five Feet High and Rising - JOHNNY CASH

10 - One Night in Bangkok - MURRAY HEAD

11 - Ocean - THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

12 - (Sittin’ On The) Dock of the Bay - OTIS REDDING

13 - Ain’t Goin’ to Goa - A3

14 - Brick - BEN FOLDS FIVE

15 - The Tide is High - THE PARAGONS

16 - Nightswimming - R.E.M.

17 - Bridge Over Troubled Water - SIMON & GARFUNKEL

18 - Wave of Mutilation - THE PIXIES

19 - The Times They Are A-Changin’ - BOB DYLAN

We’ve had a lot of laughs here today folks. Lots and lots and lots of laughs. Because that was funneeeeey. Oh, and donate to the relief effort.


 

Recent Comments

  • Damn, I am getting tired of standing here. Mike was supposed to have closed this contest days ago.
  • Batmaaaannn...nananananananana...batmaaaannn...
  • Nice game! But would be better if you could change the number of the black balls while you playing...
 
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