The Brooklyn Kitchen Shitter

I found this glorious flyer affixed brazenly to a streetlamp in my neighborhood last night. My gut tells me this is a joke, however there’s a part of me that wishes it’s genuine.There’s also the chance that I’m falling into some crafty viral marketer’s hands by blogging about this (especially because as of this writing, the phrase “This man shit in my kitchen” turns up zero Google results), but there’s a significant part of me that hopes there’s an honest-to-god serial kitchen shitter on the loose in Williamsburg. Oh man that would be sweet.Anyone willing to help me get to the bottom of this (pun severely intended) may do so in the comments section.Text from the flyer:

This man shit in my kitchen. Ladies of Williamsburg, BEWARE!!!! This man shit on the floor of my kitchen on October 6th, 2006 and then peaced. He might strike again. Approach with caution.

Comments (10)

  1.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    Things to wonder about:
    Did Frank know his victim or was this a random kitchen shitting? The alleged victim was able to secure a picture of the shitter, so this leads me to wonder whether or not the shitting was a chance encounter. Although, in the likely event that the kitchen shitting took place during a house party (after all, the event allegedly took place on a Friday), it would not be unreasonable to assume that the victim was able to get both the attacker’s name and photo before he released his bowels onto her floor. Additionally, the incident took place in the victim’s kitchen; a likely location for a discreet floor-shitting during a crowded party. All of this is very curious indeed.

  2.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    This has been knocking around all day. It may have originated on Craigslist, but I know that I’ve already received one email from Anna about it and I can’t help but think it’s a sham. If it was a random shitting, where did the picture come from? If the victim knew the ASSailant (quack quack quack), I can only guess that it was an online date thing that went bad or the act of a vengeful ex. Still, the guy DOES look like a floor shitter to me.

  3.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    obviously a smear campaign. this man is actually running for senator in the next election.
    and why address it to the ladies only? the answer is that men extract some degree of perverse pleasure from being the victims of a kitchen shitting. knowing this, i will sleep well tonight with the door unlocked, hoping that some fuckface with a white beard and bowlful of jelly gut will come, eat my cookies, and then shit them out on my kitchen floor. he might have to wait for a few hours while he prepares to return the cookies to their rightful owner. id best leave out a few magazines as well.

  4.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    I noticed the previous post speculated about this being a possible online date gone bad.
    Wonder if this is a common danger when one is online dating & whether said post-er would know anything about that???
    Just a thought…..

  5.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    It seems Gawker’s beaten me to the punch. Stupid Gawker.

  6.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    Just a sidenote, but I believe the proper past tense form of “shit” is “shat”. (also much classier sounding)
    Headline should read, “THIS MAN SHAT IN MY KITCHEN”

  7.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    Yes, I think this is a joke meant to humiliate “Frank”. But I could take up serial shitting if you’d like.

  8.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    Regarding the picture, it’s well established that 90% of kitchen-shitting victims know their attacker.

  9.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    This was real! It was discussed today on the radio station 96.5 in Houston. The 23 year old girl met the guy at the bar and he walked her home. Afterwards, ending up staying the night on the couch but the next morning, instead of using the bathroom decided to shit in the kitchen.

  10.  Rate Comment Up Rate Comment Down  error|1

    I heard it this morning on the radio too!!!

Leave a Reply